Being The Wife of A Musician: The Things No One Tells You

First off- I’d like to start this post by saying I love my wife VERY much.

I remember when we first started dating I was blown away by her ability to open her mouth and project sounds that didn’t resemble a dying animal (Note: I really cannot sing). I was even more impressed when she proved she could play guitar while singing AT THE SAME TIME.

I was quickly wooed over by her angelic voice and killer instrumental skills. But, little did I know, I would eventually be a band wife. And band wives have a lot of duties and unwritten rules.

Here are the things NO ONE tells you when you start dating a musician:

  • There will rarely be quiet time again: In the shower? Singing. Trying to nap? Guitar solos trailing up the stairs. In the middle of a conversation? Singing again. In bed? Drums blasting downstairs.
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  • Your basement is no longer YOUR basement. It belongs to the music now: I’ve always been cool with her creating a recording studio space in our basements (even when we lived in tiny houses that could have benefitted from some extra space). What I didn’t expect was that she would hunt the house for every single blanket we own and create what looks like a giant blanket fort in our basement to absorb echoes and create the ultimate recording situation. Now, when I walk into the basement I am greeted by blankets hanging from the ceiling acting as doors as I make my way to the laundry room. Plus side? She has volunteered to do more laundry now.
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  • You will be expected to attend shows of people you’ve never heard of: I’m totally cool with this one… except when the people mega suck and she still suggests we see them. :’)
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  • She will spend hours in the blanket basement at one time and will request that you don’t make a sound: That means no showering. No walking around. No breathing. Okay- the last one was a joke.
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  • You may end up doubling as her Manager/Tour Planner: Again- totally cool with this one because I love planning events. I do wish I got to go on the tour though… 😉
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  • The bandmates become your great friends: Or in our case- the best men at our wedding.
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  • You’ll probably end up running the merch table… 
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  • You’ll start listening to music differently… Listen to that Vibrato damn.
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  • She’ll make you fall in love again and again with every song she writes about you. (Especially when she sings it for you at your wedding in front of everybody.)
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  • And you will especially love the way she serenades the dog. Now if only we could teach him to sing back.
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Based on this list… I think the pros definitely outweigh the cons. Just means I can be her biggest fan.

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