An Ultimate Low

Here’s the low down. I’m sick. I have been for years, but not like this. Anxiety, depression and panic attacks have consumed every ounce of joy I once had. I am devoured by terrible intrusive thoughts daily and am at a loss as to what direction to turn. I’ve tried talk counselling, CBT workbooks, educational books regarding mental health, yoga & fitness, diet and nutrition, medication (after medication after medication…). It isn’t cutting it.

For the first time in a while I feel weak– unable to hold up my adult body. I feel child like in terms of my lack of reliability and selfishness. But I have to be selfish right now. I have to continue searching for methods and treatments to help me manage my brain. Because what I’m doing now ISN’T working.

I have the summer off from the school board. It’s the perfect time to get my shit together and find something that WORKS. I am willing to fight like hell...I just need time to do it.

Step:

  1. Ditch Facebook. Who really wants to see everyones best moments when they’re feeling their worst?
  2. Make it through the last TWO days of work. You can do it!
  3. Cancel the nanny gig I agreed to before this insane bout of depression and panic came on.
  4. Find a new psych- someone with new innovative techniques and method. I’ve tried the CBT, talk therapy bullshit.

Wish me luck & feel free to share your stories of healing through mental illness.

Love. 14721752_141812892950345_7115188447029036351_n

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